Sunday, November 11, 2007

Saving a life

A blogger friend of mine blogged about comments that strangers make in the supermarket etc. Over the years I have heard all sorts of comments such as:

She is beautiful!
How much did she cost?
She is so lucky.
You saved a life.

The first 2 comments make you smile and say thank you and want to strike up a conversation with them. The next comment is just too much! You don't want to get too confrontational so you half-smile and walk in the opposite direction. The next 2 comments... well... they had me thinking. Yes, she is lucky now because she has a mommy and daddy that love her so much. Yes, we might have saved a life... she is much better off living in a different country with a new family than in an orphanage her entire life (although, I am sure someone else would have saved her). But, after many years of complete turmoil of trying to have a child... 2 ectopic pregnancies followed by numerous surgeries to repair what was not working right and then followed by several years of infertility treatments... weeks and weeks of injections and running to the hospital every minute to check this and check that, cycle after cycle, month after month, year after year... A person does get to be a little more bitter and little more negative after each failed attempt. I would say that my girls, my beautiful daughters from China, saved me... I AM the lucky one!


Made in China said...

Yes, I have heard the same things too. I get a lot of "what a lucky girl". When people ask personal questions that I don't want to answer I just smile and say "why do you ask?" and they usually drop it as they don't want to answer that they are just nosey!! :o)

Anonymous said...

You are right Susie! We are the lucky ones. I believe my daughter has the chance at a better life with us than she would have had where she was - in that way she is lucky, but she has lost alot in the process. Her biological roots, her birth culture and being free to be with her family without others questioning it - not so 'lucky'. One thing I know for sure though, I didn't save my daughter's life. In her case, her biological parents combined with the people who found her did that.


Leanne said...

Yes. I hear you. After all those years of unsuccessful tries, fertility treatments that drain the pocketbook and the heart, I too feel that I am the lucky one, and my small son has "saved" my life from being a lonely one that was not what I wanted ever since I was a small child, to one full of miracles and laughter daily and a bright future full of hope. And I agree with Dawn.. the policemen who picked him up and those who cared for a tiny boy with a large cleft for the past two years are the ones who "saved his life" literally, not me. I am just lucky to have the opportunity to try to give him a good life from now on.

Thankyou for this post... btw all your photos are beautiful and I also hear you re running around to shops, taking photos etc with a small one who wants nothing more than to RUN RUN RUN!